Sunday, July 19, 2009

Kiss My Ass?

The Following post actually happened:

EXT. NEW YORK STREET. 1PM

Matthew, 22, walks down the street with Natalie, 20. The two of them hold brown paper bags of Chinese food that they recently bought. As they walk down Thompson Street they come across a COMIC BOOK STORE. Matthew, former comic book addict, pauses for a moment.

MATTHEW
Huh, a comic book store.

Natalie, who is decidedly not a comic book fan, goes over and looks at the shop window. The store is colorfully decorated, lots of reds and yellows color the entrance of the shop with streaks of dark green giving it an early 90's graffiti look.

NATALIE
(Seeing the T-Shirts)
Looks kind of cool

Matthew and Natalie walk into the store, its a single room with a few shelves on the walls to hold T-Shirts and comics. The selection lies somewhere in between sparse and sufficiently stocked. Natalie and Matthew proceed to look at the contents in the store, Natalie at T-Shirts, Matt gazing at the covers of comic books. He picks one up, flips through a few of the pages.

MATTHEW
Blackest night?

STORE OWNER
Yea, that's pretty interesting.
the black lanterns are all the heroes
that have been resurrected.

MATTHEW
(Putting the comic back down)
That's cool. I haven't been following for
a while. I left off where they started
introducing all the other colors.

Natalie finishes her browsing of the store and walks over to Matt.

NATALIE
Alrite, I think there's nothing here for me.

MATTHEW
Ok, lets head out then.

They turn and begin to head out of the store.

STORE OWNER
What were you looking for? Because if
we don't have it I can order it for you.

NATALIE
Oh no, I don't really... I was just looking
at the shirts.

STORE OWNER
Oh
(pointing to the shirts near the entrance)
There are shirts over there.

NATALIE
Yea, I saw them. Thanks though.

Natalie makes her way out of the store and looks lovingly at a small kitten near the entrance way. Matt is a little slow to leave, still responding to the store owner's questions.

STORE OWNER
If you think there's anything wrong with
my store I'm going to ask questions. So what
are you looking for?

MATTHEW
Oh, no thanks, we were just browsing today.

STORE OWNER
Well that was just rude.

MATTHEW
(now in the entrance of the store)
OK... Kiss my ass?

Matthew turns and rejoins Natalie, who was waiting outside.

NATALIE
What did he say?

MATTHEW
He said "that was rude"

NATALIE
Really? He really said that?

MATTHEW
Yea! And all I said was "No thanks,
we're just browsing today."

NATALIE
What a dick!

Beat.

NATALIE (Con't)
Imma go back and write a bad review of him.

END

Anyway, here's the bad review:
The Store's Profile
Natalie's Profile

Thompson Street Comics
215 Thompson Street New York NY 10012
Phone: (212)388-1466

Go call them and tell them how much they suck.

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