Good news, and of course, the subsequent bad news that follows

Good News:

Well, folks, the good news is that I now know that people actually read this blog.


The Bad News:

Apparently I can get in trouble with the actual people that read my blog for what I write in here.


The Story:

After a long day of interning after a long night of not sleeping I made my way down to NYU to work on my projects. While I was there I had decided to visit some old teachers and faculty administrators/members that I knew down there, an idea for keeping up good relations with those I respected.

After running into Sam and chatting briefly I made my way to the 9th floor in the hopes of catching Joanne Savio, which, of course she wasn't around so whatever. However, while I was there I thought it would be fun to catch up with Dean Antonio and Patti Pearson (assistant to Dean Antonio) since I've known them for such a long time and have a good amount of respect for them.

I popped into Patti's office and had a not-so-nice surprise awaiting me. Apparently they some how got a hold of my blog, this blog and were very much more than upset about this post, specifically the part that detailed the events of the final night.

I learned from a source whom shall remain nameless since I'm sure someone I don't want reading this is reading this and I would hate to get my source into any trouble, that my blog post was forwarded to Rudy who then sent it over to the film department.

This tells me that whoever ratted me out was either a "friend" of mine on Facebook or has some odd obsession with me because they would have had to google my name and go to the bottom of the second page, skipping over the at least 1 other Matt Chao blog just to reach mine. I have no idea who blew the whistle on me and even though I would like to know, it's not important. If whomever did this was an administrator or teacher or what have you in NYU, I can understand, it in some way shape or form was your job. I would like to put aside the child-ish reaction of saying "whoever turned me in can suck a big fat one," even though they can because they're clearly no friend of mine.

What I would like to discuss here are of a multitude of things. I would like to preface this conversation by saying in no way do I believe I was right in what I did nor do I believe that I should not be punished in some way shape or form by whomever is in charge of administering punishment in this case whether it be the university or the universe itself. I did something wrong and was foolish enough to put it on a public forum for all to see, I'm getting what I deserve.

Ultimately I wonder about the legitimacy of "evidence" such as said previous post that we find on the internet. I have been taught not to trust everything I read on the internet, or, for that matter, not to trust everything I read, so why are corporations and numerous individuals so trusting of incriminating evidence they find in people's blogs?

Something that bothers me is that I could have easily spun my situation into something that seemed as though it was a prank I pulled to test if the university was stalking me. I didn't because, despite the fact that I didn't think of it at the time, it's not the kind of person I am nor that I want to be, I'd rather not lie to keep myself out of trouble. If there's anything I've learned from Sam it's to own up to your mistakes and learn from them. However, the case still stands that I could have spun this easily to make it seem as though it had been all fabricated because it very well could have been. Aside from there being hundreds of false blogs out there (just a handful that we've just now heard of over the news), there is no physical evidence, no tangible evidence that confirms that I actually did what I said I did. People lie all the time, so why is my blog taken as immediate truth? A bragging confession?

Now, I'm not going to deny that I did what I said I did and I'm not going to pretend that I'm not sorry either, because I am, Patti and Sheril have a right to be mad at me, but I think that this internet stalking of employees has got to stop. I think that, even though there is no privacy on the internet, there's a need for additional evidence beyond a blog post because just because everyone can see who say I am doesn't mean who they see is necessarily me. On top of that, it's just fucking creepy.

Pillow Fights and Drawings

EXT. SIDEWALK DAY

Over 100 students and program assistants (think camp counselors only in the city) gather outside the front steps of the residence hall clutching pillows. The one in charge of the entire program, RUDY RAMOS, an office dweller always dressed in a shirt pants and tie with slicked back hair stands in front of everyone making an announcement.

RUDY

What we are about to do is in celebration of the

end of this program. It is also highly illegal, but

that's not gonna stop us is it?

CROWD

NO!

Cheers emit from the crowd, several members raise their pillows in the air triumphantly.

RUDY

Ok, so we can't converge in the park or we'll

get arrested.

The crowd starts to moan.

RUDY (CON'T)

BUT! But, we're going to go over to Washington

Place right around the corner and do this right in

the middle of the street!

The crowd cheers again. They're all anxious.

RUDY (CON'T)

Alright! So we're gonna head over and when I say go,

and only when I say go, we'll start!

The crowd erupts in cheers yet again and begins to follow Rudy down the street to the location. MATT, 22, holds his pillow with an excited grin on his face. He turns to NATALIE, 21, a fellow PA who stands next to him and smiles a wide and devious smile.

NATALIE

You're excited.

Matt nods his head in assent.

NATALIE (CON'T)

Hmmm

A blond drama queen in a pink zip-up hoodie from the Drama department starts laughing flamboyantly and causes a commotion around him.

MATT

(practicing swinging his pillow)

He's first

NATALIE

(eyes lighting up)

Yea!

There's more to this but maybe next time. It gets kinda long. However, it does involve me catching pillows swung at me and just beating the owner of said caught pillow relentlessly with my own. It was a glorious 4 minutes of unadulterated pillow bashing before the cops came and we ran back to the dorm.

Aside from all that I have a picture to post that I just did. I've had this image in my mind for a few days and, of course, it looks so much cooler in my mind than on paper, but I guess I'm getting a little better.

I guess I aspire to be him; a *puppet master, the mind behind the plans working from the shadows to get everything done. It's quite difficult now because more often than not I feel more like one of the puppets in his hands.

*I guess the aspiration has something to do with a power trip of some sort. I hope that should the leadership role ever be placed in my hands I would handle it well, but I guess the only way of telling with that is seeing if it happens.