Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Something Better?

His alarm rang at 9:30AM, and as he sat up to turn it off, he actually felt pretty awake and well rested. Despite that fact, his brain yelled to be back under his covers and his body nodded in ascent, so he reset his alarm for an hour later, brushed his teeth quickly so he wouldn't have to do it later, and then crawled back into bed.

He found himself rather unmotivated lately. He had kept at his free work; steadily adding on more and more on top of it, some paid, some not; in the hopes of keeping himself busy and disciplined. What he sought in all of this was structure. He knew that if he let himself room to be lazy he would take it and he would end up nowhere fast. This strategy, while effective at first, seemed to be losing its effect. Constantly working for seemingly nothing had stopped acting as a structure and, in some respects, started eating at his soul -- his night job didn't help much either. Everywhere he turned seemed like a dead end and he didn't know the way out, even though he constantly felt that there was one.

There was a world open to him, one much better than what he currently experienced. He wasn't sure where it was or how to get there but he could hear it calling faintly to him, a tiny voice that haunted the back of his mind. He often brushed it off, feeling as though it was just the call of a Siren, hoping to draw him to a turbulent end on their rocky shores.

Maybe, however, it was something better; a genuine guide to a better place; a reminder that something greater indeed lay beyond these walls. Either way, whether it be Siren's call or angelic guide, finding it would indeed prove to be of great importance. It was coming to be about the time when he took a step outside his comfort zone, it was, after all, beginning to feel rather uncomfortable in there.

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