Moment of Clarity

...and for the first night in a long time he felt ok. He could feel the rage of the specter from the depths, beating against its chained doors and he knew they wouldn't hold for long, but at the moment, none of that mattered, at the moment he would enjoy his moment of clarity.

Lack of Posting

Dear me, I haven't posted in over a week, which is kind of terrible, seeing as to how I was supposed to try to post 3 times a week. However, despite the fact that I'm no longer working 15+ hours a day my crazy schedule has still managed to prevent me from writing much of anything here. However, there are some eventful happenings.

1.) Saturday, Monday and Tuesday I worked as a PA on a documentary on Cab Calloway for a producer at PBS, though not directly or permanently related to PBS, Gail Levin, the director of this film, is a documentary filmmaker who, in short, gets the job done in a new and innovative fashion, so I'm glad that I have the opportunity to learn from her.

2.) Spent 5 days chewing up a mountain in Vermont... although really just 2 days, 2 days were reserved for traveling and the last day was spent Duck Pin Bowling and mini-golfing in the cold Vermont winter. More on that some other time?

3.) I finally hooked up the mothership, after 5 months of it sitting in its box, my baby has been taken out and once again plugged in, though I still have yet to power it back up... tomorrow perhaps.

4.) I have more drawings that have been done/finally completed... and those will be posted... whenever I scan them in?

That's all for now.

Drawings (Finally!)

I FINALLY got around to scanning in a couple of drawings that I have done. One of which I did in Hawaii, another of which I did some time last month and the last of which I did today (or yesterday, depending on how technical you want to be).

On that same subject, however, my ever faithful, badly beaten and quite well traveled notebook/sketchbook that I've had since Junior year is finally near full, meaning I have two blank pages left.

Honestly, this sketchbook has become a major instrument in my life, having been bought and started second semester Junior year because of my class "Lyrical Resistance," which encouraged the constant writing down of our thoughts or ideas or whatever in a notebook or journal, which I did and I'm ever so grateful that I started and have not stopped. This notebook has been with me everywhere I've traveled, from Holland and Prague (Czech Republic) the summer between junior year and senior year to Arizona and Hawaii this past year, and within it lies all sorts of memories and improvements; you can really see my growth through the past two years. At the same time, however, you can also see just how much has painfully stayed the same. I still have some things (drawings) I need to complete in there and some ideas I need to flesh out more and use this notebook as a reference to pull from, so it's not going in some box in my attic, no, actually it will probably stay right here on my desk, although once the last 2 pages are filled it will not be traveling with me in my backpack anymore; I'll have to find a new one for that.

That and I don't think it can stand very much more travel, honestly I must have taped the front cover back on at least 3 or 4 times in its life span.

Anyway, here's what I advertised, the long awaited drawings... don't get your hopes up, I haven't been drawing much so my already crappy drafting skills have only gotten worse.

It's really weird seeing Christmas decorations up while people walk around in shorts and short sleeve shirts.

This was actually drawn around my friend's actual birthday (Mid to late November) but I just never got around to scanning it and uploading it until now.

Here's a drawing I did today while my friend (same as above) was practicing piano. As you can see my drafting skills need work... especially on the actual person... I don't really mind how the piano came out too much.

Let the Beat Build -- Again

I'm back from Hawaii, which was interesting, and pictures will be posted at some point in time.

In other news, my friend Nyle's music video "Let the Beat Build", the one that got on Kanye West's blog and him a lot of attention has continued to move. I was told today by my friend Nick that the music video, directed by Chadd Harbold and his company Last Pictures, has been voted number 4 top music video of 2009 by Spin Magazine, beating out Lady Gaga by 16 spots. Congrats Nyle.

Hawaii Pt. 4 - Beach Hatred

He had been plagued by his ghost all week and rather unable to have much fun so finally he headed out to the beach behind the hotel, determined to have fun and swim a little, maybe get some exercise in. 3 steps into the ocean he cut the big toe on his left foot. Ignoring the cut he continued to swim for a while before wondering just how bad the cut was. Taking a brief break he dipped his head under the water and took a look at his toe; it looked like it was bleeding, it was hard to tell under water.

Making his way back to the shore he looked a bit ridiculous; he was a terrible swimmer, doggie paddle all the way. He sat on the beach looking at his cut; it was bleeding, but ultimately he told himself "if you're gonna cry about the boo boo on your toe, you can go to the urine filled kiddie pool, be around all the other babies," so he sucked it up and headed back out to sea... only to cut his other foot.

"Fuck it," he said, having had enough "I'm going in."

And so he learned to hate the beach.

100th Post

Wow, is it my 100th post already? I did not expect to reach 100 that quickly. Actually, I can remember when I first started this blog... about 6 months ago... (late June) wow... 6 months... has it already been that long? Anyway, a lot has happened since I started this blog, I guess... For one I'm now employed... but still over working myself. OK, so maybe not that much has changed, but some things have and as things continue to change I'll continue to post about them... hopefully in some interesting way. Additionally, I swear, once I get around to scanning things or loading pictures, pictures and drawings will be loaded and displayed here. That's all for the post on the 100th post. In reality it's not really THAT special, but I think it's still worth mentioning.


Now, onto the real post:


Hawaii Pt. 3 - Safeguards

They had spent the day shopping, wandering through a botanical garden and then visiting a coffee factory/plantation; overall, nothing he was really into. He did, however, spend some time napping, which helped make some progress in safeguarding in the event of the return of his ghost.

Further structural repairs needed to be made but some significant progress had been made. He had, however, made two purchases, one of which might be offered to the source of his haunting problems; he wasn't sure if it would be, he hadn't decided. What he had decided, however, was that it would be an interesting month before his ghost's master returned, a lot was in store for him.

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Amendment:

Ok, so apparently this isn't the official 100th post. It's my 100th post including my drafts... which can't be seen by everyone, so this is my 93rd to everyone else, but my 100th to me, so this is the unofficial 100th post.

Hawaii Pt. 2 - Haunting

He decided that sightseeing was terribly annoying. Going to see a giant hole in the ground and spending all day to see it from different angles was not his idea of a day well spent. It didn't help that his guardians were forcing him to do so all the while he was being haunted quite severely by his ghost.

For the past week or so he had been once again plagued with yet another case of extreme hauntings. Usually he would be way too busy and too tired to pay attention, but now that he was on "vacation" monotonous work and over exhaustion weren't available means of shutting out the screams from this spectral haunting.

About three days earlier he had discovered that constantly playing music would drown out this recent batch of screaming, but slowly and steadily the voices managed to get louder and louder, piercing through his acoustical barrier. Steadily he grew grumpier and grumpier until he would refuse to speak to people, just wandered off on his own, throwing up his wall of sound and trying to ignore the damned ghost; it didn't really work. Eventually he gave up and put away the music, facing the ghost head on. It wasn't a pretty fight.

He had a plan for combat; he would pretend that the worst had happened, even though it hadn't, and see how he dealt with it, slowly strengthening himself under it. That was the battle plan, a plan to constantly defeat himself; no matter he was destined to suffer, and suffer he did. Thrashed and beaten he sunk lower and lower in despair; the ghost looking ever greater and unbeatable. Finally he was at a loss, not knowing what to do except admit defeat, and just as he did, the ghost disappeared, suddenly he was triumphant.

He did not know where the ghost had gone or why it had left but it had disappeared and he didn't question it; instead he would enjoy his victory, but knowing that it would be back. However, he hoped this moment of tranquility would last, until at least he returned home.

Hawaii Pt. 1 - Arrival

He stepped out of the airport and outside onto the sidewalk. The December wind blew gently against him as he stared down the sodium vapor-orange highway. It was a warm night, it felt like summer here. The hoodie he wore began to feel a bit too warm. He had arrived.

Vacation Mischief

By the way, I'm going on vacation tomorrow to somewhere that requires I get on a plane, which means I get to finally do this:

Bag Check

Stand By Me Pt. 2

Here's a clip from the Stand By Me music video I went from PA to Gaffer on. Check it out.

Stand By Me Music Video Clip

Money

Today I got my first paycheck from USA Studios. Yay! I'm surprised at how good that feels.

Lack of Things to Blog About

Lately the amount of things to blog about has fallen to a very low point, and not because there's nothing going on in my life, quite the contrary, there is way too much going on in my life, leaving me with barely enough time to sleep, much less socialize. No, the lull in things to blog about is due to the fact that all the things that are going on in my life are extremely monotonous, a lot of quality checking tapes at my new freelance/part time/whatever job and a lot of the same thing at PBS (yes, I am working both my internship at PBS AND my new freelance job at USA Studios. I actually believe I mentioned that before.) My friend Ashna has warned me that I'm working too much, but I guess we'll see? I did, however, think up a comic I'd love to try to draw or something... just a strip of something... will post it if it ever gets done...

Miscalculation

He felt the part of his face around his left eye. The pain was almost entirely gone, save for a single tender spot near his temple. This all was the result of a miscalculated step-in, one that resulted in his brother's fist unintentionally thrust in his face while sparring this past Thanksgiving. It was all a rather entertaining and laughable situation, a story sure to guarantee laughs around tables, camp fires and the like for years to come.

The minor injury to Matt's eye was just one of many miscalculations within the past few months that had resulted in needless pain; the others not nearly as entertaining or funny when thought about in retrospect.

Matt had spoken to several people about the issues he was going through, which helped a lot because it released a good amount of the pressure building up inside of him. However, as the ghost haunting him evolved and changed and the time of reckoning drew nearer he felt his brain chemistry begin to do a 180. All of this was scary because he felt the irresistible urge to act in ways he, prior to this entire mess, would have immediately identified as irrational. He was afraid he was losing it.

This was his second sleepless night in a row, probably 5th this past month alone. His friend told him she was concerned for him and told him he aught to get his insomnia checked out. Insomnia; he never thought of it that way, putting a name to whatever was plaguing him made it seem like there was actually something wrong with him, he didn't like to admit that there was something wrong with him; it made him seem handicapped and complaining about a handicap was too similar to making excuses for his liking. This was some ridiculous logic, he knew it was, but all the same he held fast to it, resigned to take the harder path.

He offered up an excuse for his insomnia; "the ghost," he said, "I blame the ghost!"

"That's certainly a stress er, but you were an insomniac workaholic long before you even crossed paths with your ghost," the friend replied, "you need to take your health into consideration, lack of sleep can ruin your mental state later down the road if not immediately, you need to give yourself time to rest,".

He offered up some pitiful response in defense of himself, knowing that she meant the best and that ultimately she was right; he should listen to her. However, still, the word felt odd; workaholic, what an odd way of describing him, if anything he felt like he wasn't working hard enough.

Maybe that was the problem.